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Long day February 8, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Life.
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I am tired but I just need to write something totally not related to climate change or the right to development.

This day was spent reading and writing and more writing, as well as drinking expensive coffee that I do not like. I am talking about Bo’s Coffee.But that’s not what this post is for.

This day started with a class that I love and enjoy sans the three consecutive absences. He makes me realize that lawyers are not really liars and crooks. And I want the kind of job that he does.

Then I spent the next hours just writing my SLR and preparing for my International Environmental Law presentation. After writing a few paragraphs for my SLR, I would rest and read about technology transfer and the Kyoto Protocol.

I was also able to attend my first small group meeting in around 2 or 3 years with two stage “ates” waiting for me and ask how it went. I needed that meeting. I hope I can keep it up.

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Random thoughts February 4, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Factoids, Life, rants.
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I do not like explaining why I am skipping class. Haha. I think I can do that. But maybe I ask people the reason too, that’s why I can be asked.

I love coffee, but it makes my tummy hurt sometimes, well most of the time. That is why I always have to eat something while drinking it. Pandesal.

Coffee does not make me lose sleep. I can drink it one minute, and be asleep the next one. However, it does make waking up easier especially if I have to wake up early.

I have episodes of cleaning frenzy. I throw things that I can still use when I am in this mood.

I am moody, extremely moody.

I dream of swimming.

I really really want to learn to play tennis.

I really want to become a Triathlete (I know how to swim, bike and run –  I think that’s the requirement. The endurance is what I have to train for.)

I miss my family back home. Life is easier and less stressful there too.

I love pandesal. Especially the ones back home.

Sometimes I still ask myself whether law is for me.

I hate it that I feel insecure sometimes, without any trigger or anything.

Rest, again February 3, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Life.
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My recent post was about how much I felt stressed about the many things that I have to do, and with so little time to do all of them. Thus, while taking a long break from writing my thesis, I found this in Joshua Harris’ blog. Just a great reminder of how I my perspective should be. I will just quote it verbatim:

A quote I’ve been encouraged by recently…

The main difficulty, therefore, is not in our work, but in ourselves; in the conflict with our own unbelief, in the form either of indolence or self-dependence. When faith is really brought into action, the extent and aggravation of the difficulty (even were it increased an hundred-fold) is a matter of little comparative moment. Difficulties heaped upon difficulties can never rise to the level of the promise of God. To meet the trembling apprehensions—”Who is sufficient for these things?” the answer is ready—”our sufficiency is of God.” There is a link in the chain of moral causes and effects, which connects the helplessness of the creature with the Omnipotence of God, and encourage the creature to attempt every thing in the conscious inability to do any thing: and this “in weakness” thoroughly felt, Divine “strength is made perfect”. It is equally important to feel our abasement, and to maintain it with a corresponding and proportionate exercise of faith. Let us lie low, but let us look high; let us realize our weakness and strength at the same moment; let there be a remembrance, as well as a present exercise of faith. —Charles Bridges, The Christian Ministry


Rest February 1, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Life.
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Just having a few minutes of rest in between finishing a draft decision of the labor case and studying for my hearing tomorrow. I have not studied for any of my classes tomorrow and have not written a single thing for my thesis. I still have a hearing by Tuesday. I am in bad need of rest.

I remember that a few years back, I would be able to deal with busyness in a better way. No anxiety. I just did what I needed to do at that time. I realized that I have been anxious about how I will be able to do certain things given my limited time and my utter need for sleep – despite the fact that I have tons of things to do, I still allow myself 8 hours of sleep as often as I can (which is almost everyday).

Now, I am quite disturbed by the fact that I know it will be a challenge to do many things in the time that I have. It just dawned on me that rest does not mean having less things to do. It isn knowing and believing that God is in control and that I need not worry. My rest is in him. Without him, I will not be able to do these things. I am cheering myself on.

Career options January 26, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Life, work.
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I am hoping to graduate by April, and I am excited to work fulltime as a law graduate and eventually as a lawyer. I am not alone in trying to figure out what career path to take. I am not one of the fortunate few who gets invited to dinners with law firms and listen to the compensation packages that they have to offer, and the scholarship loan opportunities. I do have quite an idea of what I want to do, and the field of law I will concentrate on, but the question is – where do I begin?

It is so much easier to plan and think of the many things I want to do when I finally become a lawyer. It is easy to see myself living and working in different places in the world, doing the developmental research that I want to do. It is easy to see myself getting a masters degree in international financial relations, information communications technology or international environmental law.One or all. Or some other field not among the three.

But I have to start somewhere, and I want to start ASAP. Some of my friends are willing to wait for the bar results before they get a job. I want to get the ball rolling at once. I will probably give myself a month to rest after the bar, but that’s it. I’d go crazy if I have more than a month of vacation.

As of now, I have no options to speak of, no offers, no applications. But I do hope to find a job that will allow me to do my research and writing especially with developmental issues, and environmental issues. I have never thought of factoring in money, but travel opportunities will be one of my top considerations. I do not mean that will accept a job that just pays minimum wage, hell no. But I just know that monetary considerations will just be a minor factor, especially when I get to do the things that I want to do. Plus, I think law should not primarily be a moneymaking career. It is nice to have money, but there are more important things.

I want a job that would help improve my research and writing skills. Travel too. And see the world and make the most impact to it, to  make the lives of people better.

I am quite anxious about my career options. I just really hope there’s something out there for me.

God, please give me the a job that will allow me to make the  most impact on the lives of people and make it better. Also, a job that will require me to stay in France, for a long period of time. If not France, South Africa. But your will, your will be done. Just give me peace, knowing you have great plans for me. Be still my heart.

Where would I be? January 25, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Life, Music.
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Where would I be, without you?

Lead me as I go.

Like a waterfall, you fill my heart.

Let me overflow.

Overflow, Chris Tomlin

Streamlining my (web) life January 24, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Life, technology.
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I spend a significant amount of time online. Sometimes it is quite an addiction because there are times that I have an urge to just go online even if I do not need to.

Since I have been trying to be better at time management, and also trying to create a daily routine, one of the steps I have taken is to lessen my RSS feeds subscription.

I have used Google Reader to keep track of my favorite sites and blogs. It has been really helpful, but also quite overwhelming especially when one receives more than a hundred feeds a day. So I decided to unsubscribe from many of the blogs and websites that I have a difficulty keeping track of. Though I can opt to hide the number of feeds I have not read, reading them really takes hours when I get down to it. But thanks to Mozilla’s Morning Coffee add-on, I can opt to visit them any day with just one click. This is better because there’s no pressure to read the blogs or websites because they do not come to me in the form of voluminous subscription items.

Lessening my RSS feeds subscription is one of the things I have to do to try to handle my time better. I do not have to keep track of everything, there are better things that I need to focus on. Thanks to 43 Folders for giving me this idea. It is more important for me to keep my attention to things that matter, like my thesis, and research work.

Next step will be to get used to studying at home, in my room, for more than 30 minutes. Knowing my attention span, and my utter need for distraction, this one is going to be more challenging. Will update on that in the future.

Forgetting January 20, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Life, rants.
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I tend to forget, forget things that I did and it drives me crazy. I tend to forget where I parked the car especially when I am in the mall. It scares me because I could end up scouring the entire parking space of the mall to look for it. I even forget where I parked the car when  I am in school. I also forget whether I locked the car doors or not. It drives me nuts when I am in class trying to remember if I did lock it. For a number of times, I have been forced to go back and check the car, and the good thing is, I always locked it, I just do not remember doing it.

For the past two days, I have dreamt that I had Alzheimer’s. It sort of scared me but since it was a dream, I just did not pay much attention to it.

Then I just had a YM conversation with Rianne and I remember typing this:

Lemuel: talagang nag hanap
Lemuel: haha

But there was also this after the last line,

anal ba siya?

But I do not remember typing it at all. It was not even related our conversation. Cold sweat. I think I am going nuts. But then again, I already am. But I do not want to be a forgetfulnut.

Taxi Ride January 19, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in Life.
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Normally, when riding the taxi, I would just sit at the back and just wait for the driver to take me my destination. But there are the occasional chatty cab drivers that would comment on the latest DaniCon legal issue they are listening to, or to the news that Mike Enriquez seems to shout at the top of his lungs to make sure you are listening. There is also the occasional driver whose radio is so loud, he will not hear you and the rest of the outside world.

On my way home tonight, after a class that extended for more than an hour, I had one memorable taxi ride. Nothing special about the car, it was not the Avanza that I have wanted to ride on for a long time, just to know how it feels to ride in a taxi that is that big. When I hailed the cab, I first saw what I thought was a teenager. He even stopped in the middle of the road and quite abruptly and I thought to myself that this guy was new in job. And he was, because he told me to guide him where to pass because he is not familiar with the place.

I realized he was not a teenager, unless I consider myself a teenager. But he was young for a taxi driver. He asked whether I knew the singer in the song playing in the radio, I think it was Bryan McKnight. He got into singing the song as if I was not there, well it was loud enough for me to hear it clearly but not too loud to be annoying.

It amused me that someone my age is driving a taxi. He mentioned that he wanted to be a family driver, in the future. That is his plan. He will wait it out until he finds a job opening, so in the meantime, he will drive the taxi.

I did not get his name, nor how old he really is, but I did enjoy the taxi ride because it made me realize that I am not the only one waiting for better things in the future. Almost everyone does. We all dream of things to be better, and we do what we have to do as we wait for that to happen. What struck me about him was that he enjoyed what he was doing in the interim. He was singing while he was driving. He was smiling while he was talking about his fear of being held-up by people who ask to be brought to Tondo. I knew he had to work his ass off for 12 hours just to earn at least 300 pesos for each day he drives, but he seems quite content with where he was. He was just in the moment. That is the attitude. I hope he gets what he wants, and even more.

Love languages January 19, 2009

Posted by leukemicnut in family, Life.
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I have been asked by a few people regarding my love language. I cannot remember all the love languages, I think there are five, but these three are what applies to me.

Time. This is important to me. I tend to move on quite fast from certain relationships especially when I do not spend time with those people. Making an effort to spend sometime to see or talk to someone is quite imporantant for me. This is one reason I live eating out with friends or talking to my family over dinner or television. Those moments are priceless because I get to spend time with them and also get to have really great conversations. This is another love language – Conversations.

The more I talk to someone about anything and everything under the sun, the more I love them. I love knowing about the smallest details about the lives of people that I love. I love sharing these details about myself too, thus the tendency to overshare sometimes, at my own expense. That is why it is important for me to always have conversations with my family and friends, either face to face, online or through SMS.

Touch. I love to hug people. I do not do kisses though, except my family.